I desperately needed to pee. I ran into the first shop on the way, which happened to be SandwiChez on Sant Antoni. I almost started walking straight down to the toilets, but then felt guilty and cowardly and decided to buy something first. A juice. A juice is what you need when you need to pee.
I ordered my juice from a sleepy looking shop assistant. A fresh cold-pressed hipster juice. The assistant didn’t seem to be in a hurry, and he cut each fruit up very slowly, then very slowly placed it into the juicer, paused to talk to his companion, then looked at his phone.
I felt like strangling the guy.
After what seemed like ages, I finally got the damned juice, grabbed it and quickly ran downstairs to the bathroom, pressing hands to my groin. The way to the bathroom seemed like a maze. Turn left, turn right, steps up, steps down, and then – there, I finally reached it.
I ran into the cubicle and slammed the door close. I lowered my pants and started peeing. Oh-hhhhh. The act seemed like liberation, like the best thing on Earth. I enjoyed the gurgling sound of the stream, smiling happily.
A few seconds in, I heard another person entering the bathroom. It was a lady with a kid. I could tell by the squeaky capricious sounds the offspring was producing. “It is occupied”, said the lady. There was silence for a moment. Then there was a sudden banging on my door.
“Now, don’t do that Victor”, I heard the lady say. Victor didn’t seem to give a fuck, and continued banging. “Victor, stop it this very moment!”, I heard again. But the kid wouldn’t stop.
“You little asshole”, I thought to myself. “ There is no way I am coming out. You’ll have to wait till you wet yourself and learn some manners”. But I was already done and there was nothing else to do in the cubicle, so I flushed. More banging. I put on my pants veeeery slowly, did the belt even slower. As slowly as the shop assistant preparing my juice.
The kid banged some more. I sat on the toilet reading my WhatsApp messages.
Eventually I exited the cabin to face the apologetically looking mother and her annoying kid, who didn’t show any signs of remorse and rushed into the cubicle past me.
I went on to wash my hands, eyeing my reflection in the mirror and then suddenly had a wild desire to start banging on their locked toilet door too.
I sighed, gave the middle finger to the door and left the bathroom.